Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize