we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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