I think I am morally bankrupt
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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