can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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