You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
