i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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