Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
