Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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