He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
