I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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