I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
