After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
