dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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