don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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