is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
