i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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