He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
