I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it glows. i had to have it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
