You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize