Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
