I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
