so that wasnt chicken after all
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
