Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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