The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
