I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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