and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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