Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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