they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i think my cat just said my name.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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