Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
