I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
