I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize