she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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