Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
