the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
