I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
