She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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