She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
