yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
