So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
