Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
