You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
