Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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