Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize