I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
