After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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