Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
