He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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