But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
