Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
