I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
