Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
