Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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