and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
