At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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