Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
