soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize