my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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