My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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