this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
