The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So much rum. So many feels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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