Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize