He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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