I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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