So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
